There’s no mystical

Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is. But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? You mean […]

Andy Griffith

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Really? Did nothing cancel? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond […]

Steve Holt

I’m a monster. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Across […]

Alliance and a traitor

Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more likeā€¦suicide. Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you’re going. […]